Balls

a group of ferrets is called a business

This is my favorite of your facts.

Like clockwork I continue to not be subscribed to peacock, or any other streaming, for this very reason.

Pay X amount per month, for a selection of content you don’t control, have no ownership of, cannot retain a copy of (longterm), and whose price is subject to change at any time.

Ooooorrrrrrr…I could buy physical media, and rip my own permanent copy, which never expires, andwhose cost is a one time purchase.

Why the fuck is physical media dying??? Oh, right. I live in the same country that willingly voted for trump, and are now shocked to learn he’s a shitty person.

In other words, I’m surrounded by morons.

Remember when Retro Game Corps almost had his youtube channel shut down by Nintendo for showing Nintendo footage on these handhelds?

Yeah…he’s probably thinking to himself “Welp. Time to retire.”

Oh.

Yeah, if that’s what he meant, for once trump is actually right. Broken clock and all that. I just misinterpreted OPs meaning.

You forgot about being a 34x convicted but not sentenced criminal.

I feel like I’m missing context here. Are you saying he ISN’T one of Epsteins former clients?

“But why human? Why have you done this to me?”

“Hahahaha, look at the cute puppy!!! Hahahaha!!!”

Why is Subway Jared locked up then? You’d think he’d have fit into their rich pedophile ring.

And just to be clear, I’m not defending or debunking anything. I’m seeking answers for an inconsistancies.

Back in 1997 there was a storyline in WWF with a professional wrestler named Bret Hart.

Bret is a Canadian. And the storyline was that he was a bad guy in the USA, because he bad mouthed USAs healthcare, and treatment of veterans.

He was a good guy everywhere in the world EXCEPT the USA.

He said things like “Back home in Canada, we still act like decent people. Where we take care of the sick, and the elderly. We honor our veterans who served our country. Not like here where you dump them in the streets and spit on them as they suffer. I can’t wait to get back to Canada. A real country to be proud of. Not this fascade of an image that your country tries to project. All men are created equal, huh? Kind of hard to take that seriously, when the quotes author was a slave holder.”

Yeah. Professional wrestling was WILD in the late 90s. But I bet you thought it was just muscle roided beefy boys beating their chests and shaking the ropes, huh?

My point is, we’ve NEVER taken care of our own people. Even a professional wrestler 30 years ago could see that.

About 3 hours.

Here’s what we do. We all stop buying.

Stop buying what?

Yes.

Stop.

Line goes down until they stop.

Leak em! Leak em!

grabs popcorn

Whoa whoa whoa whoa!

Cheeses? Meats? Sandwiches? AND a wife??? Buddy! Stop bragging! Next you’ll tell me you own a home and have no debt!

…orally? Ew.

I mean…I feel like that’s enough, honestly. Jack Black voiced Bowser just because he can sing. Chris Pratt voiced Mario…for reasons I still don’t understand.

I was never a Charles Martinet fan, and Capt Lou Albano is dead. But at least Arin IS a voice actor. Shit, he could probably do what The Simpsons and Family Guy do, where one guy voices like half the characters.

He could do Mario, Toad, DK JR, and Sugar Bear. I know Sugar Bear isn’t a Nintendo property, but fuck it, ya know? Have you seen him voicing Sugar Bear and Granny? I could legit watch a weekly 30 minute cheaply animated show where they keep having Sugar Bear steal Grannys cereal.

Although I do think he, and JackSepticeye, and Markiplier and Danny Sexbang all spread themselves a tad thin at times. Taking on too many projects at once.

I can’t blame them though. Their lives look fun. Basically they wake up and get to ask themselves “Ok, what stupid shit do I want to do today?”

And then we get the 10 minute power hour, where they learn to do cirque del soil, or they order a bunch of kit kat flavors from amazon.

I’d be much fatter, but much happier if I was told "Your job today is to eat chocolate in the morning, and at 3pm you’re going to talk in silly voices working for Nintendo.

Imagine living THAT life.

Blame Nintendo.

Back in the early 1980s fresh off the video game crash of 1983, Nintendo was on the verge of releasing the Famicom in Japan, and needed a way to market the console in America.

There was just one rule. In America, video games were dead. A fad. Disco was dead, and so were video games. So it wasn’t a Famicom. It was a Nintendo Entertainment System.

In stores like Woolworths (think Walmart but not terrible) and Hills (think Target, but also a bit shady) they tried marketing the NES as an Entertainment system. It wasn’t a video game. It was an appliance. Like a VCR. It was the only way to get stores to agree to stock the damn thing. No store wanted the risk of a video game.

Well, after a year of selling, and research Nintendo found kids were the main target of their product.

So they shifted away from the electronics section and into the toy isle. There was just one problem. Toy stores in America were divided. Some isles carried toys for boys, and the other half of the isles carried the toys for girls.

A bit of market research showed that interest in Nintendo shifted slightly more towards boys. 55%‐45%.

What happens next is the key to the PS2 ads.

Nintendo chose to carry the NES in the boys section of the toy isles. Which had an IMMEDIATE influence over not only the marketing in America, but also the direction developers took their games.

There was a clear shift towards the games AND the marketing being geared towards boys 5-13.

Nintendo then DOMINATED the video game landscape. Seriously. If your mom today is roughly 80 years old, theres a pretty good chance she calls all video games “Nintendos” (regardless of brand), the same way she calls all tissues “kleenex”. Or if you’re from the south (especially Georgia) all soft drinks “coke”. Could be orange soda, it’s a coke. Just like it’s one of those Xbox 1080p Nintendos.

Well by the time of the PS2 days, that influence, even though Sony had nothing to do with it, had caked over. Video games were now very male centric, and the age range grew up with them.

In the late 80s, you were 5 years old playing super mario bros. In the mid 90s, you were 13 playing tomb raider and argueing with friends over the validity of a nude cheat code. And by 2001 you were 18 and horny, and…hey, look at these ads for the PS2. They’re edgy!

And that is my TedTalk on why raunchy dreamcast ads, and raunchy PS2 ads goes all the way back to the atari 2600 game crashing the whole industry worldwide 20 years earlier.

That, and puberty.

Atari 2600

Tickle tickle!

Please tell me it’s a sequal/spinoff to the Super Mario Bros movie.

And please tell me Arin Hanson voices the role of Donkey Kong JR.

Now, in case you’re confused about which one DK JR is, there was a 1982 game called “Donkey Kong JR”. It was a sequal to the 1981 game game “Donkey Kong”. He also made an appearance in the SNES game “Mario Kart”.

And then we never heard from him again.

The Donkey Kong in Donkey Kong Country is actually Donkey Kongs grandson. Which would make Cranky Kong the original DK…AND THUS THE COOLEST!!!

I just want Arin Hanson to guest cameo as DK JR.