It ain’t just guys. Let me tell you the story of my ex…

Dude.

This is you rn:

fun

This is how I have my ex in my contacts.

i hired this 😠 to 😠 at u

Partridge in a pear tree? Fuck outta here with that shit. She gettin’ a plastic finch hot glued to a chia pet.

Aged like fine Wisconsin cheddar.

That…that’s just Derrick. I just talked to him at work this morning.

I’ll Venmo him $1500 and beat out all these other chumps! They’ll see who the real A player is!

That’s the same code I put on my luggage!

🦡 🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🍄🍄

Cat: “You serve me. Do I make myself clear?”

Well now I’m going to need more details on this Transylvania Twist.

It seems pretty clear from this article summary that cockatiels were bred to help cull those who are feeble and a burden on society. As I’ve often suspected.

PSA: Applebee’s only serves applebees. So if you’re in the mood for, say, kiwibees or plantainbees, you will want to dine elsewhere.

The hex bug doesn’t stand a chance and it knows it. It’s already trying to find the exit.

Might be a massage with a happy ending

That reminds me. I’m gonna need to designate someone to delete all these dick pics after I’m gone.