Did I shit on poly people at all, or did I express a preference? I don’t want a poly relationship, I want a monogamous relationship, which I think I’m reasonable to want.
Been there, didn’t work out for me. I get the ownership argument and all, long-term perspective etc., but just going non-monogamous doesn’t solve anything.
Current hot take: it’s more important that you really invest all the time, attention, effort, love they deserve into every person you want to have in your life. Personally, I can’t do that for more than one other human. I even struggle with one.
It’s cool that you’re non mono, I probably am too, but people are justified to prefer to be mono regardless of your personal opinions on relationship type
Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership
Like, that’s definitely coffee-house sex philosophy truthiness. But it ignores the desire for someone(s) to come home to and rely on. A relationship is more than just getting off. And monogamy (or committed poly, if that’s your vibe) is about building a friendship with the loved one and a community with their social circle.
You don’t own your partner any more than you own your parents or your siblings or your closest friends. You just want to be near them regularly, because you love them. And when there’s only so many hours in the day, you dedicate yourself to these people because you want a relationship that’s deep rather than a series of flings that can only ever be shallow.
Yeah it’s not about “ownership”, it’s a partnership. You can’t rely on someone that’s also trying to maintain romantic relationships with other people as well.
You can rely on someone in a non mono relationship, it’s just way more complicated and takes 1000% more time. It’s all just choices. But there’s plenty of examples of deep relationships that are also non monogamous
We need to normalize blaming monogamy for shitty monogamists the way people blame non-monogamy for shitty non-monogamists.
Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership, which is objectively good.
Did I shit on poly people at all, or did I express a preference? I don’t want a poly relationship, I want a monogamous relationship, which I think I’m reasonable to want.
Been there, didn’t work out for me. I get the ownership argument and all, long-term perspective etc., but just going non-monogamous doesn’t solve anything.
Current hot take: it’s more important that you really invest all the time, attention, effort, love they deserve into every person you want to have in your life. Personally, I can’t do that for more than one other human. I even struggle with one.
It’s cool that you’re non mono, I probably am too, but people are justified to prefer to be mono regardless of your personal opinions on relationship type
Like, that’s definitely coffee-house sex philosophy truthiness. But it ignores the desire for someone(s) to come home to and rely on. A relationship is more than just getting off. And monogamy (or committed poly, if that’s your vibe) is about building a friendship with the loved one and a community with their social circle.
You don’t own your partner any more than you own your parents or your siblings or your closest friends. You just want to be near them regularly, because you love them. And when there’s only so many hours in the day, you dedicate yourself to these people because you want a relationship that’s deep rather than a series of flings that can only ever be shallow.
Yeah it’s not about “ownership”, it’s a partnership. You can’t rely on someone that’s also trying to maintain romantic relationships with other people as well.
You can rely on someone in a non mono relationship, it’s just way more complicated and takes 1000% more time. It’s all just choices. But there’s plenty of examples of deep relationships that are also non monogamous
In no world will anyone convince me to share my person, to whom I don’t own.
Well, apparently you do own them, if you think they are yours to share or not share as you choose
Lol ok