sed s/demon/daemon/gThe install is complete.
Ok, but imaging playing one of the new Doom games with that set up:
Action starts to get intense.
The tension, and temperature rises.
Suddenly, a whisper at the back of your mind “hail satan hail satan hail satan”
As more enemies appear, and the temperature rises, it becomes louder, pulsing in your ears. Somehow a whisper that is now shouting.
As you cleanse the demonic filth, the chanting subsides and stops, bringing a measure of peace, at least for the moment.
The demon is Bill Gates fueled with the tormented souls of Microsoft employees that just got layed off. The solution is to print out a few Arch wiki pages and a usb stick (with Arch) and say “the power of Torvalds compels you” until the PC is once again pure. Than keep your PC pure by avoiding absolutely proprietary software and always praying to Tux for more features.
Well… the satanists I’ve met definitely seemed like a Linux crowd, so it’s not the worst suggestion prior to sacrificing a goat or something of that nature.
Linux doesn’t have this? Man, I guess I’ll stick with windows. That shit is metal AF.
I think HellOS comes with demonic teeth drivers right out of the box.
I think such circumstances require TempleOS.
I am running Ubuntu Santanic Edition
When was the last time you saw a possessed Linux system? Don’t worry I’ll wait
my Linux has dæmons all over it
The good dæmons compete with pathogenic bad dæmons, and are essential for the computer’s health.
All my Linux systems are possessed by daemons
Every linux comes with perl and bash, possession is a single script away
You can probably configure the demon in Linux
demonctl stop hellfire demonctl disable hellfire demonctl enable regular-fire demonctl start regular-fire demonctl set --force body-type=human horns=2 eyes=2 tongue=forked skin=red demonctl add --object electric-guitar demonctl speak "play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls"/. tribute.shThink it’s
./tribute.shiircEdit: removed the space between
./andtribute.sh./: is a directoryYou’re technically right since everything is a directory in Linux.
./is indeed for starting scripts thoughI haven’t had fun reading a comment thread like this in a while. Thanks guys, this is pure gold.
Edit: it’s just a tribute
This whole site is a /. tribute, with a few layers of indirection.
lp1 is on fireNot as funny as it seems - the error message “lp is on fire” really exists. Originally these bulky old tractor-fed matrix printers got really hot and would catch fire. That’s history, but in the early 2000s I experienced a 1990s SUN laser printer that had similar ambitions. Luckily it usually would blow some fuses before it got hot enough.
Meanwhile in BeOS and Haiku;
isComputerOn() isComputerOnFire() isComputerCursed()
How do I daemonize my demon?
Demons prefer FreeBSD
systemd keeps daemons under control, the computer will be fine with Linux.
Stupid Linux Guy doesn’t realize that by installing Linux, you install even more daemons on your machine!
Just because they’re daemons doesn’t mean they’re bad or malicious. Assuming they are is racist.
Install FreeBSD
Nah we know its just that all the demons end up clogging up the pc portal and all of them trying to enter at once end up blocking each other
It’s a ddos attack: demon denial of service
indestructable
Honestly TempleOS might be the way to go on this one
my arch laptop with i3wm is riced to look like temple OS.
god loves elephants, and so do i.
my arch laptop with i3wm is riced to look like temple OS.
Yoo, let us get them dots
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TempleOS
Did you see the templeOS rice the other day on unixporn?
Dude had fuckin nix on there
Have not seen it. Got links? I’d look it up, but I’m unsure whether we’re talking Lemmy or Reddit
I can’t find it, it was on reddit though.
Well, I hope it was at least developed in collaboration with God
I just pictured someone throwing pages from the manual on it going “THE POWER OF LINUS COMPELS YOU!” Yeah. I’ll see myself out.
In the package, there will be a large square of herb-scented paper. This is the entire code for VüDü. Fold this paper into an origami shape resembling the animal you’re installing VüDü on (see also Appendix II). There are folding directions for common animals in the box. Make a hollow inside your paper badger and add a little more blood and hair from your animal.
Don’t lose the paper; replacements are expensive. There are recipes for homemade paper on the Web, but getting all the information correctly transcribed is a huge task, as this must be handwritten; furthermore, the requirements of herb collecting, drying, and curing are formidable.
Some man pages are more suitable than others.
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