Joel and Kathryn Friedman, both 71, are counting the days until they can sell their home and move into a 55-plus community.
The retired empty-nesters have been ready to downsize for years, but are reluctant to sell their five-bedroom, 5,000-square-foot Southern California house [mansion] in large part because of at least $700,000 in capital gains taxes they estimate they’d have to pay.
Since 1997, home sale profits over $500,000 (for married couples) and $250,000 (for single filers) have been subject to a capital gains tax of up to 20%. That threshold hasn’t changed since 1997, meaning that — between inflation and soaring home prices pushing an ever higher number of houses above that limit — many more home sellers have to pay the tax now than when it was first implemented.
The Friedmans are among a growing number of older homeowners discouraged by the tax from selling their valuable properties. Housing economists say that dynamic has exacerbated a shortage of family-sized homes on the market, especially in expensive places like California.
The Friedmans’ house is too big for them, and maintenance costs are only rising, Joel said. “There are a million reasons why we’d like to move, but we’re not because the tax is just burdensome,” he said.
But that could change — there’s bipartisan support in Congress for raising the federal tax threshold to boost home sales in a stagnant market.
My mom is the same with the completely outrageous spending on frivolous things but as soon as it comes to visiting me, a 2 hr plane ride, suddenly she guilts me for spending the money. “ I have to stay with you for 15 days because I paid for this $200 ticket and it’s just not worth it if I stay just a couple days like you say I should “ — I’m autistic and NEED my routine and space back after 5 days maximum. She loves to push boundaries to get what she wants : a free stay at my home in a vacation state. I’m constantly telling her no you cannot stay with me for 2 fucking weeks because you feel entitled and live for pushing boundaries.
I’m very fortunate to have found a house while prices were affordable for me. If I had to attempt it now, I’d be up shit creek. Meanwhile she is building a custom 7,000 square foot home, because of course her 4,000 one is just not cutting it anymore … the garage isn’t pretty enough for her $80,000 suv she randomly wanted AND my step dads $100,000 truck he needed afterwards to match her new car … fucking ridiculous.
Like I said in my reply to this commenter:
Basic rule in life: cut toxic people out. If someone, let alone a fucking PARENT, treats you like that, and especially if they don’t respect or at least acknowledge your neurodivergrnce: just fuck them. Maybe in your case, play along the absolute bare minimum until you can inherit their shit and then smile. At least you were not the idiot anymore.
Friends, or even random people who have nothing to do with you, shouldn’t treat you like that. We often just endure all shit because… Well, because it’s just like that and we never really knew it could and SHOULD be different. Or other silly reasons.
Sadly it took me way to long to let go of the constant argument people with a good relationship with their parents tell me: “but they’re your parents dude!”
Exactly, they are, I didn’t chose them, unlike my friends who actually treat me with respect and dignity. Fuck toxic family, fuck toxic people, surround yourself with people who love you for who you are and who you love for who they are. Treating each other with mutual respect. Fuck manipulative narcissistic behavior. Even when they are your parents.
Yes absolutely this. I’m glad that this sentiment is seen more and more in the younger generations. They won’t bend for jobs or abuse that easily like mine (genx) or earlier did and still do.
“But they’re your parents!”. Aaand? “dad” or “mom” are titles earned by love not labels given by birth. Toxic is toxic. Fuck it.
They demand to be repaid for raising you. We didn’t chose to be put on this fucking world. They chose kids, it’s their responsibility. We owe them nothing. “But we love you.” Then fucking show it instead of making our lives miserable. Give love, get love back. Give shit, demand love back? That’s not how it works. “But everything we do, we do with good intentions.” Impact weighs heavier than intentions. They prioritize their own wishes over the happiness of their kids. I hate religion, but I like the expression “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. Something especially boomers will never understand. And sadly many more in this world. Compassion and accepting others for who they are, the way they are and want to be, are sadly rare these days. My goal in life is to show it still exists. And I have many good friends because of it.
My parents live 2h drive away and are already guilt tripping me for that drive. While they would come to me 10% of the time, I had to go there 90% of the time. I’m autistic too, my mom drains me within an hour. No joke.