Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I’ve lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.
yep it’s pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there’s dozens of comments saying “what about the men” and completely missing the point
The response to “what about men” comments is, we’re already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.
Either is a foil for the other and it’s exactly the same bullshit.
What about the me
As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.
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EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.
100%
It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.
Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.
It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.
I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
Oh yea? One time I got kicked in the balls and it kinda hurt. Women have it soooo easy.
Alas I have been shown to be wrong! If not for my womanly ways I would have been the wiser!
you mean the comments that have been downvoted to the bottom?
But the fact that the majority (or perhaps less than half now) of the responses literally prove the point I am trying to make proves my point downvotes or not.
You have to remember the people who would literally unironically make such a post that proves my post are the densest of the dense.
Most sexists, while dense, are less dense than a black hole and would not prove my point for me under such a post.
Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.
I mean if you use the Marxist/Leninist definition of left then obviously not. But I mean left leaning in terms of the societal understanding.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
that’s kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.
Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it’s just how it is now. Sort of always has been.
THIS. EXACTY THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
Me: talks about issue disproportionately affecting women.
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
Lmao look at that douchebag’s comment history. Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
oh no funny man on the internet yaps a lot about things.
I come here for sociological research more than anything.
I seriously doubt you know what the word research means.
i seriously doubt you have any concrete view of politics or sociology to begin with.
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yeah bro, it’s the internet, everybody has opinions.
“yeah so actually i think this is a big problem”
“yeah evidently it must be a problem, but like, this has always been a problem, and seems to be a consistent problem”
“YOU’RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM!!!”
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
also to be clear, you are literally straw-manning me here, i’m not saying that “men have to suffer with women having an opinions” nobody cares, it is what it is, i think it’s interesting actually. You’re the one arguing that because people discuss topics that they find personally relevant is somehow “oppressing women”
I’m not saying you shouldn’t shitpost about that stuff in shitpost threads, by all means do, there’s interesting dialogue in it. I’m just saying this is a common occurrence anywhere on the internet, for any community. Hell go find a community for something as mundane as lego, you’ll find the same shit there.
Not everybody NEEDS to have their own specific issue that specifically effects them for it to be a valid or real problem. I just think this issue is far broader than most people expect it to be, ironically, i could argue you’re literally behaving the exact same way you claim i am. Because you are, and that’s exactly what’s happening.
Do i care? No, i don’t it’s the internet do whatever you want.
I bet you can take any situation and make yourself a victim
Stttooooppp you’re giving me old school internet sexism nostalgia. 😂 That 2008 energy.
Do you miss halo 3 lobbies too?
Mhm i knew it haha
Yep. Picking the bear.
what if im the bear?
Nah but have you ever considered that the reason that you think that there is a male loneliness epidemic is because nobody wants to hang out with insufferable misogynists?
no, i don’t think that’s a reasonable answer, because you’re doing the fascist thing of “these people are wrong they need to change, and if they don’t we can justify whatever shitty behavior we want, because we’re morally superior”
It’s not dissimilar to a lot of nazi rhetoric.
I think the problem ultimately stems from a disconnect in social development through out society. Feminism has pushed women forward, successfully in a lot of ways, but it has also pulled men back, in a lot of ways, that’s not necessarily bad, but there is now a void there, and there is nothing filling it in, that’s why the manosphere got so big so fast. It’s literally capitalizing on an empty market.
If you want to solve the manosphere, the solution is simple, we need to fill in the void, and fix this disconnect that’s been happening for probably 75 years now. How we go about that is complicated, and not particularly simple, but i think it’s pretty clearly evident that the problem is aimless/directionless guidance for men especially in the last 20 years. Paired with historically contradictory ideas of manhood. Men are supposed to be strong and protect the weak, but it’s hard to do that when they don’t want it, or need it.
Once this void is filled in, this shit stops happening, simple as.
Youre absolutely welcome to join Blahaj zone. Our wonderful administration team (both of whom are women) bans misogyny whenever it comes around to our communities. The mods for our main communities share a very aggressive moderation policy.
They also ban real users instead of the people literally calling their gender “dragonfucker” and “attack helicopter”
There were a bunch of users who got angry about these users mocking gender expression and then when they told the trolls to fucking stop Ada banned them
The blahaj admins are trolls
I give Ada a lot of credit. In the early days, I had the following interaction:
TOPIC: Something about sexual/gender preferences, I don’t remember, asking people their preferences
Me: responds with my preferences (I’m straight cis male, I like women so I’m down with post-transition trans women but pre-transition don’t turn me on)
Some random user: respectfully asks if I would be willing to date a pre-transition trans man
Me: I guess, but it probably wouldn’t work due to the fact that what I like about their body, they hate
Some of those professionally offended people took a misleading screenshot of my response and started screaming about “chasers”.
Ada did an admin post to the community backing me up and calling those idiots out.
So unless she’s changed a lot, I don’t think she’s a troll. It would have been easy to go with the mob but she stuck up for me.
Still could be TERFS.
I don’t have any deeper knowledge of that instance, just what I saw in all, so I don’t want to put anything on them. That thought just came across reading your comment.
I have made a mental remark in the past that the posts and users on this instance are better treated from afar, though.
It’s pretty harsh to just casually suggest that a person be a TERF without any specific evidence.
They also turn a blind eye to misandry.
You are part of the reason lemmy is unpopular with women.
i dont understand, please explain further. if blahaj mods have ignored misandry, that would be a bad thing. hate is generally regarded as bad, and misandry is hatred of men. therefore, misandry should be generally regarded as bad.
That’s true on face value. The issue is that accusations of misandry are almost always unfounded, and only made as a way to deflect and to attack women. So when people start talking about misandry, that’s generally a red flag.
It’s similar to how “all lives matter” is definitely a true and good value - but yet it is almost always said as a way to divert support away from vulnerable groups. So although the literal meaning is good, it is fair to assume that people saying it do not have good intentions.
You are right, but what he is calling misandry is not misandry, and so many people like him think misandry is the bigger problem now.
Misandry is a huge problem in the space.
It’s why I couldn’t stand r/TwoXChromosomes anymore.
The amount of people saying we should “kill all men” without being banned is insane, if someone typed the opposite they would instantly get dogpiled and removed.
The blahaj admins have a record of supporting trolls and hateful people, just as long as they use the “right” language.
I feel like the whole supporting trolls thing is overblown.
They said that you should still use someone’s pronouns, even if they are trolling, because it sets the precedent that its okay to ignore someone’s pronoun preference.Unless there is more that I missed.
If women have to be misandristic, then I’m quite happy to exclude bigots
Would you mind giving me some examples of the misandry? To see what you are talking about.
The pronoun was just “drag”. PJ is the one who kept calling them “dragonfucker”. You can go read dragonriders comments instead of just repeating gossip.
They imply the fucker part themselves, it’s part of their troll
They are a troll and you are enabling them to harrass your community.
They were already banned for other trolling behavior, just not because they used neopronouns. Please get an actual bearing on reality.
Sorry I’m not allowed to use that space because I called a troll a troll before the Admins felt like doing their fucking jobs.
I’m not going back now, blahaj is a cess pool controlled by trolls.
“dragonfucker” and “attack helicopter”
i mean, if they’re doing it as a haha funny, i see no harm, but if they’re also being assholes, i think that takes precedent. You aren’t legally required to fill in your gender tagging appropriately so.
They are an asshole though, a serial pot stirring drama seeking troll that gets people banned for reacting to their ragebait. Yeah I identify as a refurbished ebike and you must relearn English to refer to me, and you only rather not because you agree with literal genocide. Funny!
lmao good meme, sounds like a mess ngl.
I haven’t seen the attack helicopter and the joke is pretty damn old tbh, but drag at least is/was kinda funny. Drag’s profile specified that drag’s pronoun is “drag” in not just third, but also first and second person, which is an interesting concept. Drag also stayed in character in drag’s posts. Drag didn’t ever really bother people with the whole thing IMO.
yeah, it’s a dead beat joke, it’s come around to the point now where you can do it ironically and nobody cares. Though i guess you could still just be an asshole at that point lmao.
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also our wonderful admin kaity did what the lemmy devs couldn’t and nuked the dm spam :)
It really seems like instance admins tend to do a much better job with a lot of stuff on here than the core devs. Its a shame that forking would take as much work as it would.
well some of the devs are too busy arguing over which authoritarian boot tastes the best, all under the guide of leftism, so yeah I imagine the bar isn’t exactly high
As much as I appreciate the community and users, there are (or at least were) serious moderation problems on Blahaj, I did not feel safe there when I tried it a year or two ago.
I definitely cannot agree. I encourage anyone who has any issues with moderation to make a post in the Blahaj meta community. Ada and Kaity have been spectacular and have responded to every issue I have come across. There are limits, they can’t preemptively prevent any kind of moderation issue but they respond quickly.
Pfft, I’d say overly aggressive to a fault. It’s not a good thing when they’re banning people for a passing comment where the worst offence is “gatekeeping” rather than something that matters.
Probably the … fourth-worst well known instance. Idk if that’s a good suggestion.
Create one!
Community wise we have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al its a women only community by women for women.
Even if not, you can create one :3
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
It really comes down to this: if you want your own space for particular interests, you should create one and find likeminded people to populate it. Just waiting for it to magically appear isn’t going to work. Be assertive.
The femcel channel need more people if you like that type of humor
almost all the subs that “are women” are basically astroturfed by men, or some of them are male users posting as a “woman”
Can somebody explain to me a thing about anti-feminism: as a 99.5% cishet standard regular manly man man, even from an extremely cold, selfish, objective, all-for-me approach I cannot understand what I stand to gain by this. What’s the point?
Why you want to create division?
Lemmy is aimed at pleasing all of humanity.
Asking for a women-centric flavor of any site is parallel to asking for a version with less men. If you’re implying there is a difference to the interests of both, I’d love to show you the Grey’s Anatomy sub.
i mean, i don’t see anything necessarily wrong with it though.
It’s like making a linux specific lemmy instance, or an anarchist focused lemmy instance (the one im on)
it might go against the principles of lemmy, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with it.
Neigh, Lemmy is aimed at pleasing all the world.
I am species blind. Asking for a species-centric flavor of any site is parallel to asking for a version with less horses. If you’re implying there is a difference to the interests of both, I’d love to show you equestrian sports.
There is literally nothing different between any species, gender, or even a rock. Women, Men. Heck 1 + 1 = 3. Everything is exactly the same. It’s a soup of protons. It’s all the same!
I think there are differences in the interests of both. Can you explain your argument here, without super obscure references?
We just shouldn’t consider either gender’s interests as stereotypes. Also, if a community becomes one or the other “centric”, then on some level, it’s exclusionary.
You know that just because gender is a social construct, it doesn’t mean we should or even can just ignore it? You took step one on the awareness ladder but stopped before step two
Onlyfans
Edit: forgot the /s
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Instead you resort to insults!
If they’re tired of getting hit on or oppressed all the time then the communities for women on Lemmy might not be an upgrade. /joke
Reddit is pretty pro-female, what is this riddiculous gaslighting ?
BTW, ALL of Lemmy+Mbin are pro-female as well.
pretty pro-female
opinion discarded
You are functioning well within your parameters, eventhough your software version is a bit outdated
Sorry I am not hip to the most recent lingo of the circles that call women females.
please don’t call women “females”
don’t call women “females”
It’s fine. Call men “males”, too.
You already do that & much worse. So don’t pretend
Guilty as charged. What is my sentence for this crime?
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Look man, from a technical language point of view there is nothing whatsoever wrong with calling people ‘females’. However, by speaking to such people face-to-face you quickly learn that basically not one likes to be called that. The reasons are subtle, and frankly not very important. But the fact remains that calling people ‘females’ is now seen as a sign that you don’t understand or respect them - on the grounds that you are using a phrase that you’ve been asked not to use. Just say ‘women’ instead.
As if I didn’t know that right, but it didn’t stop you (not you in particular) “People” from assuming & attacking
I didn’t get technical on you - that’s kind of the point. But whatever; I was just trying to help with some context. Ignore if you like.
I appreciate the help
You’ve gotten banned from four instances already for misogyny. I wonder how long before your own instance bans you.
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Why did I get banned I wonder ? yes because I questioned them asked for evidence & they provided none
I linked my evidences & they were evading questions.
BTW, I blocked those instances as well. The real question you should ask is how long until your echo-chamber fades into obscurity.
Didn’t you mock ModLogs ?😂
bar yourself?
Go home & take a nap, you need it
hexbear is heavily transfem and bans aggressively for misogyny/transphobia. Spending some time there when their recent domain crisis defederated from the rest of Lemmy was actually quite relaxing
You are right, but a lot of people want to avoid politics.
unless you have an external opinion, in which case they fucking lynch you.
that external opinion is usually either bigotry or supporting US empire from my experience. Other Lemmy spaces are just as likely to ban for wrongthink ie: not being pro genocide or whatever war libs are supporting this time.
i’ve never seen a pro genocide lemmy instance, everytime i’ve argued against it i’ve been banned or moderated on, granted my instance isn’t pro genocide, so there’s that. But that seems to be a regular occurrence on lemmy in my experience.
I posted one thing on the one hexbear thread people used and immediately got banned lmao, what a terrible instance. I just ended up blocking the whole thing because why even bother at that point.
